“To fall in love; The moment when you pass from a state of being friends with a person to loving them in a romantic way. For some people, that happens once in a lifetime – others can fall in love over and over.’’
Falling in love can feel magical. Finding love is celebrated with marriage and ceremonies by gathering all of your nearest and dearest friends and family together to signalize and applaud your very own true love story. I am a true believer in thinking that to love and care for someone wholeheartedly means that you also must value and love yourself first. You must know what you want from life and more importantly know your worth. You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people. Once I began to fall back in love with myself, then and only then was I ready. As I began to love myself my relationship with everyone else changed. Learning to say ‘No thank you’ to situations you don’t want to be in has been the first step to falling back in love with myself and learning to really listen to my feelings. In the past I had often put myself in environments that made me feel uncomfortable and unnerving and rather than just saying, thank you for the invite but no I will not be there’’ for fear of sounding ungrateful. In the week before these situations, I would have built it up so much in my head that I would make myself feel sick just thinking about attending. Learning the art of saying ‘No’ is something I am continually working on. Don’t lie, Don’t make excuses. Don’t over – explain yourself. Just simple decline.
“And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire, and in that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.’’
Autumn is my most favorite season. For me it signals a change in the air. Autumn is the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful. It is as if nature uses Autumn as it’s time to burst through everything with its last bit of beauty before being completely stripped back. I couldn’t think of a better time to appreciate yourself worth and to fall back in love with yourself.
3 ways to fall in love with yourself first.
It’s not so simple: we often believe that we do love ourselves, and yet our actions and reactions, and our lives suggest otherwise. Loving yourself is essential to your personal growth, to the fulfillment of your dreams, and to developing healthy happy relationships with others. Here is my three practical steps to learning to love yourself again.
1.Care as much about yourself as you do for others.
For a long time I simple did not do this for fear it looked selfish. It took me too long to realize that my own needs are just as important and it is not selfish to care about myself. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. It meant learning how to show compassion for my feelings as well as others. A quote I often see knocking about Instagram that I love ‘ Treat others as you would like to be treated’ – with gentleness, concern and a caring spirit.“
2.Draw a line
Of course this a figure of speech but draw line and don’t let people cross it. Make a list of things that you need emotionally, things that upset you or hurt your feelings, when they are ignored or violated. Whatever is important to you – is important. When someone ignores what’s important to you they are crossing your boundaries. Don’t ignore that. Your feelings are there to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong.Let people know what your boundaries are and what you will and simple will not tolerate.
When people are not genuine you can feel it. Trust your instinct.
3.You do you boo
Life tip – BE YOU. DO YOU. FOR YOU. Find out what makes you feel good and do it, as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love to do, and the more you do those things, the happier you will become. It could be as simple as joining a gym, it could mean saving up to buy new makeup or that outfit you have been thinking about forever. It could be asking family members to help with child minding so you can take an hour to yourself during week to just go for a walk or to sit and drink a cup a coffee with peace of mind. Do what you need to do to be you, and don’t think you are being selfish, or silly. You will begin to feel better and you will become the best version of you. In return you can really be there for others too. You may even begin to fall in love with yourself.
This piece featured in the American Blogger magazine ModaChic Magazine. Check it out here – Moda Chic Magazine