How do you see yourself?
A question that until now I unknowingly did not know I could not answer. I’ve watched the cursor flash on the page and nothing. I haven’t been able to write a single word. It was in that moment I realized I am completely distracted, consumed and overwhelmed by what I thought the question ment. I am distracted by my thoughts, I am consumed with life and more specifically my son and I am utterly overwhelmed with feelings of fear, excitement and worry all the same time. It is a strange sensation to feel all of these emotions at once, but this is who I am.
When I saw this question, How do you see yourself? I would expect someone to answer by listing all of their lifetime achievements, degrees and goals they have accomplished. It was never very clear to me what path I wanted to take. I always thought by twenty eight my life would be much different than what it is, but when life throws you a curveball you either learn to swerve them or hit them like there is no tomorrow.
when life throws your a curveball you either learn how to swerve them or hit them like there’s no tomorrow.
I often approach my writing with structure and direction, but today I am writing as a twenty eight year old girl living in a modern Ireland. Not as a Blogger, not as someone on the Internet but rather a person living their life and learning about the person they are becoming. I think I am struggling to answer this seemingly simple question as I am still learning, growing and developing into the person I am and want to become. So Instead of me telling you who I am, I am going to share with you five things I have learned about myself this year.
Putting Trust in someone else and trusting yourself can be such a hard thing to do. Trust is not handed out for free. Trust is earned through showing not telling. If someone wants your trust that will earn it. You can not tell someone to trust you and expect them to do so, you must show someone you are trustworthy first and foremost. I say this as someone who spent years listening to those who TOLD me to trust them rather than those who showed me. This year I made a decision to invest in those who took the time to earn mine, much like I made the time to earn theirs.
Family comes first.This year I have learned to value time spent with my family. I am a Mum to a wonderful handsome little boy. I cherish every moment spent together. I have comfortably immersed myself into Motherhood. I am always striving to become a more confident and empowering Mother to my son. I have learned to trust my judgement, to stand my ground and to be fearless in the pursuit of my sons future.
Smoke and Mirrors
Not everything is at it seems. Not everyone is who they portray themselves to be and not everything is as perfect as they appear. I have learned to keep my head out of clouds and to remain staying true to the person I am. It is all too easy to get caught up in the smoke and mirrors that people like to portray to the world. I have learned to not worry about what everyone else should or shouldn’t be doing and to work on my own damn dreams.
Those special people who no matter how long it has been since you last saw each other, can pick up right where you left off. Best friends don’t come around often. Friends who teach you about empathy, loyalty and selflessness. For me, I like to keep my circle small. I don’t want or need any added drama to my life. I surround myself with people whom are are genuinely happy to see one another succeed. I have learned this year that friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who has walked into your life, said i’m here for and has proved it.
To face my fears
I am a creature of habit. People always seem a little taken back when I as describe myself as being shy, intimidated or anxious. I can tend to become quite anxious if it means stepping out of my comfort zone, whether it be to travel somewhere new or to even meet new people.I like to keep most things about myself private, whilst I carefully share some select parts of my life on my blog and social media. I spent along time being afraid of a lot of stuff and luckily I chose not to let those fears hold me back. I am continually learning to be courageous and resilient. I like to remind myself by doing something uncomfortable and stepping out of my comfort zone, it means I am not settling for who I am today. I am creating who I want to become.
This piece featured in the Winter Issue 2017 of Modachic Magazine. Check it out – Moda Chic Magazine pages 30 – 34
Thanks so much for stopping by. Here’s to a great 2018.